Never Chase After Anyone

This is good advice.  In all aspects of life.  Including online.  Do you chase after people online that never give you the time of day in return?  Never read your tweets, posts, updates when you constantly high-five them?

Then stop!! 

Stop feeding the egos of narcissistic people who feed off the joy of ignoring the people who admire them.  If the person is someone in your field that you like to follow, then admire them from afar, but stop giving them more fodder to make themselves feel more superior and you feel worse.

 

A narcissist is a narcissist is a narcissist.  They ain't ever gonna change.  So move on and give your attention to people who deserve it and care about you back.

There.  I feel better already.  Don't you?

Home is Where the Heart Is: A Eulogy

image via marys-view.blogspot.com

I make a living decorating houses.  I live it and breathe it.  I attempt to write about it here and share my passion for it with you. 
But sometimes life reminds me that decorating and design is an underpinning to something bigger and more important. 
And that is Home. 

Home is where you came from.  It is the springboard for your life.  It is the place you will always remember all your days.  You will forever walk through its rooms, even if physically it is long gone.  You will remember its sights, sounds, and smells.  You will see it in your dreams always.

Last week my dear mother-in-law passed away.  She is at peace now I believe.  Now we have only memories of her and the home that she made for her family.  It was a place I became a part of when I was seventeen years old, before we were married.  My earliest memories are of the immediate sense of warmth and welcome I felt the first time I walked through the door.  Home-cooked Southern food was always on the stove and warm welcomes and hugs waited for me.  I knew I had found my second family for life. The sounds of children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren rang through the rooms. 

Yes, beauty and order speak to me.  I have longed for them since I was a child.  But the thing that lives most in my heart and mind are memories of those intangible qualities that make a house a home. And those who make them happen.

In Memoriam

Joyce Jewell  Raley

July 19, 1930-March 31, 2011



My Sentiments Exactly

"I have spent my life obsessed with houses and the beautiful things that go in them. Not for the false glamour of having “things”, but for the art and story behind the homes—the designers and the craftsmen and the ingenuity of it."       Haskell Harris (Garden and Gun magazine)

I could have written these words myself.  I have always, as long as I remember, been obsessed with houses, too.  So many people think that working in this business means that you are into what Haskell calls "the false glamour" of it all, but I know, for myself it is just as she feels; it is about the family who lives there and their story.  Even the stories of those before them.

Maybe it's just a Southern thing.....

http://gardenandgun.com/blog/love-first-house

Sitting at the Feet of a Master

I just returned from Design ADAC 2010  in Atlanta and my batteries could not be more recharged.  I saw many wonderful things; fabrics, furnishings, rugs, etc.  The biggest take-away though, was from listening to John Saladino, the design and architectural icon, speak about his latest book and his villa in California.  Speaking to a standing-room only crowd, he received a standing ovation as he walked into the room.  After the applause died down, you could hear a pin drop as we, decorators and designers from near and far, many of world renown themselves, waited for him to speak and teach.  We were not disappointed.
His talk was based on his career, but mainly on the loving and painstaking restoration of his villa in Santa Barbara California.  He spoke about and taught how ancient cultures and civilizations have influenced his designs and his architectural point of view.  It was so inspiring to see such a legendary designer who is so humble.  I won't try and discuss and illustrate all his work, because blogland is full of such posts, but I will say that to see and hear him in person was very moving for me.  I think I will probably look at design in a different way from now forward.

Will Design Blogs Make Us Get Too Homogenized?

I was thinking today.  (A dangerous thing I know.)  I was thinking about the blog phenomenon and the effect it is having on design in this country.  It is a very different effect than magazines have.  Magazine design was always lofty, somewhere "out there" in an otherworldly, often unobtainable place.  Now, with the explosion of design blogs, we have access to each other every day, minute by minute.  We are in each others' kitchens and bedrooms whenever we want to be.  We can watch the real-world evolution of so many bloggers' design ideas come to fruition, backstage photos and all.  We share our sources and tips.  We educate each other on color theory and decorative arts history.  And we certainly opine freely on what is trendy and what should never, ever be seen.
Which brings me to the big question.  Is this a good thing, or will it eventually make interior design in America so blended that a uniqueness that was there before will forever be gone?  You know how back in the day you could travel to a new city and it was so completely different from your hometown?  But now you exit the interstate and the first thing you see are stretches of strip malls full of the same Pottery Barns and Targets that you see back home. As a result, we all now wear the same clothes with same accessories in the same colors.  It depresses me sometimes.
So now when we are designing a room, will we hop on the web and travel around to make sure we are aren't making a huge design faux pas too uncool for blogland?  Will we freeze in our tracks with the thought,  WWJD?  (What Would Joni Do?)
The big challenge for us all is to reap the benefits of the camaraderie of Facebook and blogging while retaining our own unique viewpoints and styles.  Sort of like art class when we walked around and viewed and appreciated each other's work, and sometimes felt even a little intimidated.  But we ultimately walked back to our canvas and put our own brushstrokes down.  We have to challenge ourselves to be true to our own style while appreciating others' work.  Not easy, but if we support each other, it is possible.

Building, Renovating, Redecorating: Should You Hire a Designer or Do it Yourself?

There are many, many decisions to be made when you are gearing up for a large project, whether it be building, doing an addition, renovating, or redecorating.  But the first thing to resolve is whether to do all the design yourself or get help.  Because this is what I do every day, I have the real-world perspective on just what is involved in such a project.  Here are some thoughts to ponder:

If the job is large, do have 6-8 hrs a day for weeks or months to devote to sourcing, shopping, quoting, dealing with subcontractors?
Can you relenquish control?
Can you trust?
Are you a good communicator: ie. drawings, specs, ideas ,pictures.
Do you have an eye for proportion, scale, color, etc.?
Are you handy with tools, demolition?  Do you have the time and inclination  to clean up every day after the mess?
Do you have a place to receive shipped goods?
Do you have access to craftspeople: ie. seamstress, plumbers, carpenters, painters, faux artists, etc.?
Are you decisive?
Can you handle problems with logistics, schedules, personnel problems?
Do you work during the day?
Do you have access to wholesale vendors, fabric houses, to the trade sources?
Do you enjoy chaos?
Can you handle everyone giving you differing opinions of what you should do?
Do have time for status meetings, phone calls, checking on shipments, project management?
Are you good at math and know formulas for determining fabric yardages, drapery fullnesses, sewing and fabrication terminology, floorcovering estimates, wallpaper estimates, etc.?
If you are a woman, can you handle working with predominately male tradespeople and installers?
Are you comfortable with people working in your home?
How much is your time worth as opposed to the money saved by doing it yourself?

When you are deciding between the two options, be honest with yourself: will you take on design and project management because you truly enjoy it and have the talents needed, or because your main motivation is saving money?  If your honest answer is saving money, you should think twice.  It is demanding and it is a lot of work.  By the time it's all said and done, the savings alone just may not be worth it.

Blogs and Magazines: Friends or Enemies?

This week we saw another big design magazine go away. Metropolitan Home is gone. This trend is starting to get really noticeable.  At first it seemed that the publishing powers-that-be were just trying to use their arbitrary muscle to decide what we do and don't read.  But now with several design publications gone, I've got to begin to question what is really going on here.
In the blog world I feel there is an underlying sense of guilt that maybe bloggers are having a detrimental effect on the big design magazines.  And I've got to admit there has been a little bit of a feeding-frenzy excitement surrounding this past year's proliferation of blogs, (including my own humble attempt).
So maybe a time of reflection is what we need.  One thing I know for sure; bloggers love magazines.  It's obvious we absolutely devour every word and photo.  We own extensive collections of them and use them as our reference libraries.  We know the writers and editors and photographers like family.
So which is it?  Do blogs hurt or help the magazines?  Can we live in a world with no design magazines and only blogs? 
This is my take.  Blogs are an additional fix for decorating junkies, not a replacement one.  We still really, really want our magazines.  No monitor in the world can replace a beautifully photographed magazine, pure and simple.  The big culprit here, I believe, is the crappy economy and the fact that sometimes luxuries, however small, go first.  I just think we didn't realize that the magazines really do count on our support in the form of purchases to survive.
I will continue to do my part by still visiting my local Barnes and Noble every month, buying a big stack of design magazines and devouring each and every one!  ( Hopefully the kill-off will stop soon. )

Southern Chateau Evolves

I love my blog. I really do. But lately it seems that somehow it was not completely relevant to my life. Design is a huge part of my life, there is no doubt about that. But it is just a part. I often feel that to just report on decorating and design trends was not representative of me as a person. I am a designer, yes, but I am also a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a sister, and a daughter. Real design is this way as well. It does not exist in a vacuum, as many magazines and blogs would suggest. It is part of a greater whole, which is life itself.

As a result of much thought, I have decided to let my blog reflect me more as a person, not just as a designer, because my craft as an artist and designer springs forth from my inner self. I always appreciate my readers and especially my commenters because then we are connecting! Please hang with me. This blog will bring design and decoration thoughts, but my human experience as well.

Thanks to all who read.

Carol

photo credit: flickr

Beauty without Pretension

In a job where we deal with bringing beauty and "things" to peoples' lives, it can sometimes become a conflict of interests in some ways. At least for me anyway. I was taught as an artist before I entered the design field and that early training from some wonderful mentors, ( some of whom I will discuss at a later time), taught me some values that always remain with me. And that is that art really is for art's sake. To enhance our lives with beauty and bring us closer in tune with nature and ourselves. I don't remember any of those mentors saying, "Oh yes, and to impress other people, too!

So therein lies the rub. How do we as designers facilitate all the elements of good art and design in a home while avoiding pretension? It can be a hard line to toe sometimes, especially when your style can be a little over the top like mine if I'm not careful. How do we help our clients own and appreciate beautiful things without seemingly presenting the idea that those objects and "things" are all that matters?

My own personal philosophy is this: I love these things as much as anybody. I couldn't do this job if I didn't. But when it all boils down, my family, my health, happiness, and self-respect are what really matters to me. So while beautiful objects enhance our lives, they shouldn't BE our lives. I think this is where my humble Southern upbringing plays a huge role. You can be proud, just do it humbly and quietly. Nobody likes a show-off. Don't get too big for your britches! You get my drift. In the current climate in this country and the world for that matter, I think it's safe to say that a little less pretension and a little more humility might be a good start to recovery. And maybe our "things" will have their proper place in our lives.

What is Design Anyway?

I follow Joni Webb's blog, Cote de Texas regularly, and recently was elated because she ran a piece on ASID and their bulldog attack on designers who practice without being "licensed". Well, this is a subject near and dear to my heart. ( Just ask my family who have heard my soapbox speeches for many years.) To me designing rooms and homes is an art and I believe art is individual and largely innate. We as humans all possess it in some ways, I believe. Therefore, I don't believe artistic expression can or should be legally controlled in any way. The areas involving structure and safety fall into the architect's realm.

This morning while having my coffee, I was scanning through a few of the ten thousand catalogs I get every day, and came across the Sundance catalog from the actor Robert Redford. He promotes hand-made jewelry, clothes, and items for the home. On the inside cover, he talks about the other part of his life, art and painting. Here is a thought-provoking quote by him on the subject of what art is:

"There are many avenues under the broad categories called art, but at its core, to me,
art is simply the language of the soul"

So, there you go. Whether your medium is paint, pen and ink, or furniture and textiles, you can design if you want to. But we better watch the people who want to legislate what is literally the language of the soul. Those of us who are lucky enough to see the world this way should never take for granted the ability to express it.

Thank God agencies like this weren't around when these guys were working!

My Southern/French Point of View

As you can see from my profile, I am in love with what I call a Southern/French look in design. This look is one that is a combination of the elegance found in grand French palaces and chateaux combined with the family heirloom, down-to-earth comfort of the American South.

I am always drawn to rooms in which the grand and the humble co-exist. In many Southern families, this look was prevalent because ancestors several generations back may have owned some nicer things, such as family silver or a few good textiles, but later generations who suffered through the Great Depression weren't able to acquire many of these finer things. Their houses were furnished more for function than finery. Therefore, it was common to see a silver tea service displayed in a room with simple farm tables and straight back chairs. To me, this kind of juxtaposition that evolved through people's real lives and histories is absolutely fascinating. My own maternal grandmother's life was similar to this. Her father was a store owner and land owner who employed many people. She and her siblings lived in a large farmhouse sitting high on a hill above the river. But the Depression changed fortunes for many people, and surviving was the top priority. These people worked hard and raised large families, while still retaining their pride.

As do most families , my family has European roots; Irish, French, German. So vestiges of this heritage are there as well. I feel that your heritage speaks to you in an almost subconscious way. We are often drawn to things and images for reasons we may not understand. My heart is always drawn to the humble Southern home with touches of the finer European things mixed in. I feel very blessed to have my affinity for fine French furniture tempered with with my East Tennessee heritage. As I go further with my blog, I will attempt to illustrate this special look.







From my Tennessee home,

Carol